The Never Ending Fatigue

How is it that the week is always so tiring? I mean, its not like we are doing physical activities 24 hours a day. I think the mind has a lot more to do with how your body feels than most people would think. For instance, the dread and repetitiveness of everyday work takes a heavy toll on you. Your neck feels tense, your eyes are heavy, your muscles ache... and all you did is sit at a desk and stare at a computer screen. Or perhaps it is the sitting piece that makes working hard. Who knows. But in any case, I come home so tired and ready to take a nap. And then I force myself to stay up... and the next morning I am even more tired. The week continues this way and then I finally recover Friday night into Saturday morning. Am I becoming an old lady? It is starting to look that way. Maybe since I constantly lead an 'old lady' lifestyle I am becoming one... Right. Off to bed.

Nothing too exciting is going on. Quick recap:
Friday went to a poker party at Aaron's. Did not play, too chicken... plus I didn't want to lose the cash.

Sat. we (shif, crystal, and i) had a dinner party for all of their OSU and MACC friends. I basically cooked all day and prepared for the party. After the party we went out. First to B-Hampton and then to Carlisle Club. At Carlisle club Shif nearly got into a fight with some drunk $7 Million girl. We took a 30 year old guy with us, which got me to thinking about 'what will I be doing when I am 30?'.

Sunday, I managed to create disaster in Crystal's apartment that took nearly 4 hours to rectify. But on the upside, I managed to work out for 35 minutes. Not super good, but a start.

Believe it or not, I was able to observe the holiday on Monday. So it was another lazy day at Crystal's cooking and eating. Made fajita Mexican pizza's while she made some YUMMY guacamole. Now I know the secret too!

Then back to the daily grind..........

Nerves and consequent Successes

I hate public presentations. I take that back, I do not like presenting to people I do not know. Especially if I have no warning or time to prepare. This week has been crazy. On Monday our site manager is talking about a possible presentation in February on some of our site initiatives. On Tuesday around 5 PM he is tells us that we are going to need to prepare our presentation for Thursday 1 PM. So in less than 48 hours we had to pull together a presentation on our site initiatives, a task that fell to the most computer and presentation creation savvy person... ME. Of course, if you put together the slides you know them and the thought process you went through to create them. So the next thing I knew I was presenting the material along with 1 other supervisor to all the sites nationwide. Talk about intimidation for someone who prefers to hide in the background... be the puppet master, not the puppets.

Anyway, its over now. Thank Goodness. And I did not do that badly. In fact, I thought I did better than some of the other people who spoke today. I know I did better than my co-worker. It is funny how 'corporate' college can make you. I find myself responding the way managers would not because I am experienced, moreso because I know what the 'right' statement would be. All the conditioning is paying off, I guess.

Then, my boss's boss's boss, Mickey, asked if he could meet with me for a few minutes. Those were some of the best minutes of my professional life. He looked me straight in the eye and said "I have a very short list of people I want to promote and you are one of them. Thank you for your hard work and dedication. Your results speak for themselves and you should be proud." I sat there stunned for a few minutes. To the point where I couldn't think of questions or comments or even replies. Usually I can come up with something. In this case I just sat there like a bump on a log. Speechless, thoughtless, and in completely unfamiliar territory. Talk about a boost to my engagement level. I guess I am back on track for caring about work...

Someone Else's Words That Ring True...

Unknown author:

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it:

As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers around it and possess it, it will spill through the first crack it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people make when they meet love...they try to possess it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will recede from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the
moment that take our breath away.....

Life is beautiful!!!
Live it to the fullest!!!

And She Scores...

Big News... I just was elected the Chair of our corporate Asian Employee Network (AsPIRE)group. Now, this isn't exactly the most glamorous of roles... but it has a lot of visibility with senior management. And of course, I will have to do it on my own time. So, I have signed up to volunteer for approx. 10 hours a week for visibility...Probably the wrong reason. But hey, its just the little push I needed to be re-engaged in the company. It also serves as a great way for me to network for a new job. So anyway, we will see. I'm a little nervous about having that many people aware of my existence within the corporation. My role will entail promoting diversity within the bank, something I have always done through high school and college. I am excited about being able to work on it within a corporation, to educate people on what diversity means, and to encourage people to expand their knowledge so that they understand one and another. It makes me feel like I am in school again.

I think I like it when people underestimate me. For instance, if someone expects me to jump 1 foot and I know I can jump 2 feet their lack of faith makes me jump 3 feet. Make sense? Anyway, I love the challenge of proving people wrong and having them think "huh, guess I was off a bit." Maybe one day all the non-believers will come crawling to my side, but until then I will be satisfied with just knowing they had to rethink their initial estimation. Anyway, hopefully I never fail and prove them right...

A Bright Tomorrow!

Time that runs away... or in my case, its time that is never made! I don't make the time to read, I don't make the time to work out, I don't make the time to study for the GMAT, I don't make time to do a lot of things. Maybe it is time to start making time. Funny, everyone is worried about going back in time... but what if we turned that concept around and created time? What a difference in approach. Something to think about going into this year.

Anyway, I keep smiling these days. Maybe I have finally gotten out of my funk. Work is not so serious anymore. Wait, I take that back. I just don't take it as seriously 80% of the time. Okay, maybe 60% of the time. But that is better than I used to be. So I will take what I can get for now. I am not so hung up on getting ahead as I am on achieving a healthy work life balance. It starts by taking vacation days... going into work and working a 10 hour day, not 14 hours... and doing what I know best, being creative. So, I have a real hopeful outlook for this year. Perhaps I will be 'creating' time this year, rather than wishing I could get it back.

Almost Forgotten Promises

Wow, my resolution to keep this up almost failed. I need to do a better job with the self discipline. Anyway, it seems like not much has happened yet so many things. New Year's in Chicago, fiasco's at work, jammed knee, and insubordination. But now I am sleep deprived and will have to document later.